A Promise to Myself

Dear Joie,

From tomorrow onwards (because there isn’t much more to do tonight other than sleep), you are going to face the world with your heart tuned towards positivity. You are going out there with all you’ve got, and never, not even once, let a single thought of fear and uncertainty cross your mind.

You are not going to tell yourself, “I am a loser because I don’t have a high-paying job! I am a loser because I am an unemployed bum!”

Instead you will say to yourself, “I am blessed to be alive in this world, to have a family who does not need me to go out and force myself to find a job. I am going to seek my own fortune, not through necessity and self-induced stress, but through the wonderful opportunities I will create for myself, with my own hands.”

You will not spend the entire day as an unwashed, greasy-faced hikkikomori trolling the internet and eating instant ramen. Instead, you will walk out of that door everyday, beautifully dressed, and explore the world like your imagination tells you to.

You will never tell yourself, “I’m too lazy to leave the house! I’m too comfortable in my pajamas, in my bedroom, sitting before my computer!”

You will enrich your mind and your senses by taking this rare, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time to. Go to the library. Visit the botanical gardens. Listen to a chamber music performance.

Instead of eating processed crap because you are too unmotivated and too apathetic to cook, get out there to the market and buy some fresh produce to cook. If you keep poisoning your body, you will poison your mind and your soul as well. Rediscover your culinary goddess. Do not let someone else’s criticism about how your delicately prepared, organic, exotic meals are too boring, too bland and too weird put you off from cooking gourmet meals altogether.

Instead of being a sedentary couch potato, get out of the house and walk. Indulge yourself in nature. Walk and explore the land you’re living in. Just keep on walking and don’t look back.

Take out your paint and pencils and start to create art again. It may look like shit at first because you haven’t practiced in years, but if you could achieve Top in Subject for Art A Levels 6 years ago, you still have the artistic ability buried within you.

Go out and make your own life matter. Stop living for the sake of others. You once had dreams, Joie. Start dreaming again. Love yourself again. Because only you can make the best of your life.

Love,
Joie

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