Making the Right Choices

This is going to be one of those boring introspective retrospective posts about how 2011 has been, so if you’re looking for photos of me in a bikini, sorry, no can do.

When 2011 just started, I thought that it would be an awesome year. After all, I got my driving license on 3rd Jan and a job as a freelance drama teacher the next day. How awesome is that?

Wrong. It’s now 26th December and I haven’t touched a car since the day of my driving test.

I gave up that teaching job in 4 months. The pay was crap, there was no benefits and I could see no future in there.

But then I wasn’t demoralized. Yet.

I got another sounds-awesome job. And it turned out to be a crappy job with a glorified title. The pay, again, was crap, zero future, and took a toll on my body and self-esteem.

I lasted 4 months.

Never mind, I thought. At least I still have love, don’t I?

Wrong.

Sometime in May, something horrific happened to me that I will not elaborate here. It might not sound as horrific to some people, but to me, it’s something that I will never forget and would still probably take a long time to forgive myself for. It’s the kind of thing that can make or break a relationship.

It broke mine. Well, not immediately, but it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back and everything just snowballed. I don’t know why but the previous sentence sounds really dirty. Moving on.

At about the same time I quit crappy job #2, I quit crappy relationship. That was September.

Now, I was officially demoralized.

I thought I made all the wrong choices. I thought 2011 was the doomed year for me. Even according to superstition, Rabbit years are meant to be bad years for Rabbit people. But by that definition, then my brother’s fiancee should’ve had a crappy year but from what I see, it’s been pretty awesome for her.

Anyway I moped for a while. Then I decided that hey, I’m no longer working a crappy job and struggling in a crappy relationship! Life ought to be a party! Play! Play, you fool!

So I played. I played hard. Or at least, as hard as I could. And by that I meant I bought a subscription to World of Warcraft and I became pretty good at it. I also started writing again, drawing and painting, visiting parks and libraries. I did what I’ve forgotten to do.

I stopped making “right choices”.

Then out of the blue, I got a phone call. It was from a job I applied for many months ago when I was looking to quit crappy job #2. I had already given up hope on it. It was the start of the many tests and interviews to get the job, but after 1 month of said tests and interviews, I got the job.

It was great. Great salary, great fun, great work environment, fantastic perks and a definite career future.

So yeah. 2011 wasn’t great, but it wasn’t that terrible. I survived it and made it through with a good job and some life-changing experience. I grew up.

I still have my control issues, but I learned this year that sometimes, there are just some things you can’t control. You can’t control nature, and you can’t control when bad luck falls on you. Same thing goes for the good stuff. You can’t control how or when it comes to you. You can’t always try to “make the right choice” so that good things will happen, because sometimes, they’ll just happen anyway. Or not.

So the biggest lessons I learned this year?

1. Just go with the flow. It won’t kill you.

2. But don’t be stupid. If the flow brings you somewhere bad, get out of that river and hop into another one.

3. You can’t change a man.

4. Don’t change yourself either. Unless you want to change for yourself.

5. Some things sound better than they really are.

6. Not all bad experiences are wholly bad.

7. I am a good person.

I am on top of my game!

Yeah! I’m out of the rut! I am awesome!

Everyone, bow down before me or I will kick you with my 5-inch heels!

*evil laughter, cracks whip*

But seriously, I’ve never felt as alive as I feel now. And I will never show my weakness to anyone, ever again.

I will never let anyone or anything get me down ever again!

My Promise So Far

Dear Me,

How have you been keeping your promises so far?

Let’s see…you’ve managed to spend some quality time with your family, bond with your old friends and have taken yourself out of the house several times.

Not too bad.

You’d been making and eating quality foods as well, which is commendable.

Now, just learn to love yourself and live a little.

Love,
Me

Even More Shoujo Ranting

Yes, I am a shoujo otaku. So what?

Poison of the moment? Korean manhwa Honggane, by Hwang Mi Ri.

I initially chose to read this manhwa because the title sounded like a dirty swear word, and also, I really liked He’s Dedicated to Roses, so I hoped it would be a good one.

But no, it’s another one of those seriously annoying reverse harem crap! The protagonist Namhee really gets on my nerves, but somehow every male she comes into contact with is head-over-heels in love with her. Her two brothers (her older brother, Nampa, which sounds like another swear word, is my personal fave…sooo hot) have some incest thing going on for her, her older brother’s best friend is psycho obssessed with her, her boyfriend/nemesis naturally has the hots for her, her boyfriend’s minions also somehow are crushing on her, and NOW some random dude who is her boyfriend’s childhood rival is ALSO all pervy jimjams for her.

You know, I understand if Namhee was more like Haruhi from Ouran, but no, there isn’t anything particularly lovable about her. She’s supposed to come off as sassy and spunky, but all that I see is a rude and unclassy, selfish and spoiled little princess. For some reason the boys love her clumsy rudeness and are charmed by it. Well, if I pulled that sort of shit, not even my parents would love me. Namhee is just way too much of a Mary Sue. It’s like a Korean high school gangster version of Twilight.

But damn, is Nampa hot or WHAT?

Wardrobe Weeding

Couple of days ago, my homegirl M came over for tea (which ended up a sleepover) and I decided to use the opportunity and pare down my overflowing wardrobe with our combined powers. I did not exactly cut down to 33 items, but at least 80% of my clothes did not make the cut. Most of them went to the Salvation Army, a couple of the soft muted boho hippie items that I somehow always get drawn towards but look awful in I gave to M, who has the right coloring to pull it off, and the almost fetish-y oddities went to afficionados who would appreciate the temporary lapses of my fashion judgment.

I love how I can now see all my clothes at one go, without having to delve into hanging mass. My clothes used to be packed so tight that smaller items, like tank tops, would simply disappear in between other stuff. I guess it also explains why I have 10 similar black tank tops. Even my hangers now have space between them. After eliminating the fluff, my correct colors now emerge and getting dressed and actually looking decent is so much easier now. Thanks M for your valuable help!

M thinks it can be weeded further, but there are just some things I still can't let go off. Guess I'm a work in progress!

Yay I’m so happy! My next project would be tackling my personal library, so stay tuned…

333 Project

I’m giving serious thought into starting the 333 Project, which is to live with 33 items of clothing for 3 months. These items don’t include home wear and underwear, thank goodness,  but outside wear only. The rest would be boxed up and stored. 3 months later I can review the boxed items and see if I still need anything, or else they would all go to donation.

I intend to start in May, when I start my new job, because it will be much easier then, seeing as I only have to wear a uniform for work.

This is my initial list:

1. Pierre Cardin ballet flats
2. Guess heels
3. Guess wedges
4. Flip-flops
5. Uniform blazer
6. Uniform skirt
7. Uniform blouse
8. Uniform scarf
9. Jeggings (blue denim)
10. Full-length black leather leggings
11. Capri-length black cotton leggings
12. Navy blue dress
13. Nautical slinky dress
14. Nautical mini dress
15. Red T-shirt dress
16. Black chains tunic top
17. White bicycle tunic top
18. Light blue denim shorts
19. White denim shorts
20. Dark blue denim shorts
21. Black cotton shorts
22. White and yellow cotton top
23. Blue gingham peasant top
24. Pink rose chiffon top
25. Yellow bunny T-shirt
26. Black tank
27. Black long T-shirt
28. Black cardigan
29. Grey cardigan
30. Navy long cardigan
31. Mormor fluffy white scarf
32. Black OL dress
33. Grey peasant dress

To learn more about the 333 Project, check out Be More With Less!

Living a Minimalist Life

Within the last year or so, I’ve come to greatly appreciate minimalism. Yes, minimalism. The me of “I have so many handbags, I need three huge storage plastic boxes from Ikea to store them under my bed”. The me of “I have so many pairs of shoes they’ve not only taken over the family shoe cabinet, but the personal shoe-rack in my bedroom as well”. The me of “I have way more books than Bukit Batok Branch Library”. Okay I’ll stop here.

Courtesy of misswonderlandxo

I used to love the look of the super-fussy, full-of-stuff, overdone aesthetic, like Momoko’s insane attic room. When we moved into the current apartment, I specially requested to have ceiling-high shelves the entire length of one wall in my room. Not only did I fill the entire space with crap, I still had to buy more plastic boxes to store my crap under my bed, under my workdesk and under my pretty antique dresser. I even wanted to install a canopy over my bed.

My original vision. Courtesy of Hearty Hearty.

After I donated my old piano (I found a bunch of my old crap in the piano bench that I didn’t even know I owned), I bought a little couch to fill the space. The couch top could be removed and there was a hidden storage space in it, which I proceeded to fill with more crap. Every possible space was packed full of my things, things that once I stored them, I never used them ever again.

Eventually I started feeling this strangled, anxious feeling every time I stepped into my room. It was a different feeling from my brother’s spartan, jail-cell bedroom. My brother’s room was simple; a bed, his closet (half-empty, not overflowing like mine), his desk (all his drawers are empty and only his laptop, cellphone and a table lamp on the workspace) and one tiny shelf with a few medical books on it. I used to laugh at his lack of decorating skills, but now I think he’s on to something.

I used to get a thrill every time I bought something new. However, a year down the road, it would inevitably go into a trash bag and either meet its demise at the incinerator, or the Salvation Army donation bin. When I discovered the joys of online shopping, with its cheap wholesale prices and ease of ordering, I dumped a fortune of it and bit off more than I could chew. Then Taobao, with its dirt cheap knock-off designer goods, bit my ass good. It was ridiculous. Soon the thrill turned to despair, despair to horror (mainly at my bank account).

However, I discovered an even better feeling. The calm and serenity after a good decluttering session. It lasts longer than the thrill of a new purchase, and its benefits are even greater. The air got fresher because there are less things for dust to settle on. I could sleep better at night. My room looked cleaner and neater. My furniture even looked classier without all my junk on it. It’s ironic, but the less possessions I had, the less I wanted to buy new things.

Today I donated almost all my handbags and half my shoe collection. The bags I kept were my BTSSB totebag (the only lolita item I’m still using, and have been using almost daily since 2007), BTSSB document bag (because it’s still so pretty), BTSSB basket bag (I intend to gift it), Paul&Joe clutch (I’ve been using it since 2009 and it’s a free gift!), Guess shoulder bag (for when I need a larger bag than the P&J clutch), Converse backpack, floral totebag that a friend gave on my 21st birthday (both are useful for overnight stays) and the little $12 bag I use to hold my purse, phone and keys when I pop out for errands. 8 bags still seem a little excessive for 1 woman, so I intend to pare it down further to maybe 3 in future. Looking at my list of surviving bags, I also realized that they are all branded and high-quality, well-made bags that were expensive when I bought them. The simple BTSSB tote cost me $65 but I’ve been using it for 4 years everyday. It’s faded and looks like shit but it’s still in one piece, sturdy as hell and so darn well-made. I could carry a safe in it and it will still feel light, that’s how good it is. In comparison, the $10 Taobao designer knockoffs are uncomfortable and fall apart after a month of use (I absolutely massacre my bags, I use them hard). I’ve spent over $2000 over the years on 10, 000 cheap useless things that I hardly use, and less than $500 in total on the few expensive items that I use for years.

Quality also trumps quantity when it comes to shoes. In the end, it is my $60 Pierre Cardin leather ballet flats that gets the most use, followed by my $300 Guess heels. The cheap crap Taobao heels are either too painful to walk in, or have broken at the  3rd use. $10 flats are also incredibly painful and never last more than 3 months. I find that despite paying more for high-quality stuff, they last longer, are more comfortable and get more use than the cheap stuff. In the end, it works out to be more cost-effective than getting a bunch of cheap stuff, and it also cuts down on clutter.

I’m going to attempt to declutter my wardrobe soon, and pare it down to 33 items. It will certainly be a daunting task, because I simply have too many clothes! I have so many that I don’t know what to wear (irony bites me so hard). I will be wearing a uniform at my new job, so that would help tremendously. Right now, for my teaching job, I’ve been alternating the same 2 pairs of leggings and the same 3 oversized tunic tops, so I know I can survive with a small wardrobe. My problem is the guilt that comes with parting with perfectly good clothes that I’ve wasted money on buying and then not wearing. Argh! Now I know I will stop buying clothes. I only wear the same old things day in and day out, and I spend more time at home in my ratty sleep clothes anyway, so why did I actually buy all these pretty clothes only to have them hang in my closet?

In my ideal home, I would have:

Living by Joie Kimochi on Polyvore.com

Living/Dining Room

• The giant iMac, to serve as a family computer, music player and a DVD player. I don’t watch TV, but love DVDs, so there isn’t a need for a TV.
• Kotatsu. Baby and I never ever use the dining table. We always eat at the coffee table before the TV, so when we live together, we’re not getting a dining table. A kotatsu makes more sense.
• Couch. I’ll get a really high-quality one.
• A low console table to put the iMac on. It can serve as a storage area as well.

Kitchen

• An oven is a MUST. But no microwaves. They are the invention of the Devil.
• A gas range.
• A fridge.
• All my dishware/glassware must fit into a single cupboard space.
• All my cutlery and utensils in a single drawer.
• No dishwasher, it’s a waste of water and energy.
• 1 wok, 1 small frying pan, 2 small saucepans, 1 large saucepan.
• Rice-cooker, blender, hand-held cake mixer, hot water flask, slowcooker.
• Tapwater purifier.
• 1 small table and 2 chairs for quick meals.

Bedroom

• I like the idea of a small raised platform and a futon mattress.
• Drawer-dresser. The top surface for my make-up stuff, the drawers for my home wear and underwear, as well as his stuff.
• Closet. For mine and his. Full-length mirror on the inside door.
• Ceiling fan. To save on air-con bills, for days or nights with lovely weather.

Office

• Rack for our guitars.
• A piano.
• A harp.
• Bookshelf for my book collection.
• Couch. Again, a good-quality one.
• Ceiling fan.

Misc. items

Oh no, I forgot where I found this image.

• I want a really pretty, all-glass display cabinet for my teacup and china collection.
• A good vacuum cleaner. Probably one of the best inventions ever.
• A few potted flowers and herbs. I like them.
• A pen for my future pomeranian!

A really good tip I learned is to make a list of wants, and wait at least a month. After the wait, check back on that list to see if you still want it. Since last year, I’ve been wanting a 21.5 inch iMac, even though I still had my trusty old pink Vaio laptop. I put it on my wishlist. After my Vaio died and I resorted to using my dad’s desktop guerilla style, I took another 3 months to decide if it was worth plunking down the money on the iMac. I finally purchased it last month and it was the best purchase ever! I didn’t even need to buy more paraphernalia like I needed with my laptop, such as speakers, a webcam and mouse. Right now on my incubator wishlist is an LV Verona PM, which has been on my list since August last year. I’ll review it again in 3 months, once I’m settled at my new job and if my Guess handbag is totally worn out and needs replacing.

Here are some great sites on decluttering and living a minimalist life:

Zenhabits
Unclutterer

Here’s to a clutter-free life ahead!